POLL RESULTS! CONGRATULATIONS STRAWHAT!

Hey!

Results are in, and StrawHat's Honorable Mention from the Quibbler Headline Contest has come from behind to win Dr. Smashy's (George's) coveted second TR shirt. There was a total of 19 votes, and I apologize if anyone had trouble seeing the poll--Blogger's got cyber-cooties or some shit.


Roland of the Tower started off strong with: PERVERTS HOLD VIGIL AS HERMIONE GRANGER'S 18TH BIRTHDAY DRAWS NEAR. He lead the pack for several days only to be overtaken by a single vote after topping off at 7.

Green Lambkin's DUMBLEDORE'S DUMBLEWHORES came in 3rd with a total of 4 votes, and finally, StrawHat took home the prize when his DUMBLEDORE AND GANDALF MEET FOR THE FIRST TIME, REALIZE THEY'RE THE SAME PERSON, PROCEED TO MAKE OUT scored 8 votes.


So, Good work, StrawHat!

I'm afraid I don't know you personally, but come by anytime and join our community of merry wackjobs.

In honor of this occasion (and as a pitifully flimsy pretense to post more images of awesome boobage), here's a selection of Genderswap'd Harry Potter Cosplay Pics...Like this one:

This one's adorable--but the more..."ample" ones are after the jump (just thought you folks deserved the option--perhaps not all my readers are as keen on HP cosplay cleavage as I am)

Ta,


He Who Must Not Be Scoot

Slash & Screwing a Violinist

Weirdest Conversation EVER!

Hello My Children. Your Den Mother is here! It has been a lovely Sunday where I spent a goodly portion of the day playing with my nephew...and the night having one of the strangest conversations ever...

I have mentioned my newest obsession...Mr. Sexy-voiced Cumberbatch. One of Sherlock Holmes's hobbies, other than solving absurdly weird cases & shooting up cocaine, is playing the violin. During the drive home from my Mother-in-Law's, I mentioned I thought it would be fun to screw Sherlock while he's playing the violin...you know to test his vaunted concentration skills! But then Steve brought up the fact that it would probably be very difficult to have sex with someone playing the violin, with the arm moving around so much. We got into a discussion about what position would make it feasible... doggie and the reverse cow girl (with the guy lying down) seem the most likely. When we got home, I IM'd with James & Scout for a little while...I greeted them by asking them what they thought would be the best position to fuck a violinist...James used to play the violin, for those who didn't know. Note: He said playing the violin lying down would be too difficult. And I had apparently interrupted a conversation about writing male Slash fic. And thus I got into a conversation of who would be hot in a slash pairing, James Marsters for the win... Lord Scoot was particularly thrown by my ambush greeting. So thus two band names were created tonight! And I would like to know what do you, the viewers at home think...

Slash & Screwing a Violinist! or Ambush Violinist Fucking! Which is the better band name? The husband thinks that Slash & Screwing A Violinist sounds like an album name.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell, GOODBYE!

Hello my Children. Its been a while but today I have happy news to report on, rather than the weird. That dumbass Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy created during the Clinton Administration has been repealed. Woot. Gays may now openly die for their country!

Joking aside, this is a momentous occasion for gay rights. Yesterday, Congress voted 65-31 to repeal the policy that was eerily similar to the policy I had with my mom regarding my pot smoking... Just so you know how stupid it was. Hey, you wanna serve your country? Are you gay? Well ask no questions and you won't have to tell any lies. Dumb huh?

While this repeal was still up in the air, different sections of the military was polled to see what they thought of openly homosexual men and women serving in the military. The support units, such as medical, were totally ok with the idea. As you get into the more gung-ho branches, the tolerance decreased. The branch that was least in favor was the Marine Corps. Quelle Surprise, huh? Actually, the most opposed to this change was from the clergy who served the military... Again, big surprise... However, as a whole, the military was ready and willing for the repeal to occur and allow homosexuals to serve their country.

There really isn't much more to say about this. Its a fantastic development for gay rights, albeit one that puts their lives in jeopardy. Throughout history, the military has been the first to promote social changes. For example, the military was the first to accept integration of minorities into their ranks. The rest of the country then followed suit. Maybe, just maybe, this is the precursor to full rights, such as marriage and benefits to gay couples... We can hope.

So Good Luck to Homosexual Enlistees...you can openly die for your country, if you so choose!

POLL RESULTS: TTOS SETTLES THE INTENSE, DIVISIVE DEBATE CONCERNING EMMA WATSON'S HAIR!

Aye,


After one week and a total of 21 votes, the controversy that has captured the imagination of the entire international community has been put, at last, to rest!

Short-haired Emma has emerged victorious by 3 votes--winning the hearts and minds of 12 out of 21 TTOS readers.

Long-haired Emma had a strong showing with 9 votes, but never picked up the momentum necessary for victory, and remained in second place throughout the course of the Poll.


So there--Question answered! Short Hair + Emma Watson=Better! It's Scientific!!


I feel so much better now--how 'bout you?

Anyhoo, here's a couple of celebratory images of Ms. Watson and her proven superior hairstyle:

(P.S. TTOS would like to apologize for a grievous error commited in the last Emma Watson post: the bikini pic has been determined to be a well-crafted fake. We apologize sincerely for any confusion, shame, or discomfort this information may cause our readers--and we vow to be more vigilant in the future. Thank you for your patronage!)

Scoot Needs Sleep!

NEW POLL: HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR WITCHES?

Morning, Blogarians!


It is 8:10 AM Central Standard Time, and I haven't slept a goddamn wink!


So I thought I'd do something relatively productive:

Presenting, yet another meaningless Poll! Don't worry, folks--I'm not asking you to rename anything this time.


I was having a lovely conversation yesterday with our own Colleen. She mentioned that Emma Watson, of Harry Potter fame, had recently shorn off the majority of her long, light brown hair. Colleen found the new look less than flattering. I, on the other hand, have something of a short hair fetish (yes, I mean on women) and I think she looks smokin'.

Just for a bit of background, as attractive as Ms. Watson so obviously is, I've never been one of those nerd guys who think she's the Second Coming. She's honestly a bit on the thin side for my taste--I'm not saying I'd kick her out of bed, I'm just saying she wouldn't make much of a bang when she hit the floor. ;)

I was, however, among those back in 2001 who watched her in The Sorcerer's Stone and said "She's gonna be a serious hottie in about 10 years" (though few of us said it out loud--kind of a creepy thing to say about an 11 year-old). And slowly but surely we were proven right. She is absurdly hot.

Now, in order for you peoples to make an informed decision on this momentous issue, I've provided images of Ms. Watson's conflicting looks. Let's start with the original--long hair:

OK, now--the new pixie cut:

And here are a few more I'm posting...well...because they were there:

  

Like I said, she's a little thinner than I usually go for, but clearly while slim, she's not emaciated or scrawny--and she does have marvelous legs--here's a better shot of them:

Damn.

Ah, the magic of side-boob!




Ok readers, you've got the facts--now make your voice heard!



So Long!



Scootius Black

RECHRISTENING!

Afternoon, all


Oh, what a conundrum I faced!


See, I started a poll to choose a new name for the blog, not realizing that halfway through I'd become absolutely certain what the name should be. I use these polls to help alleviate my occasionally crippling indecisiveness--but after a day or two I was indecisive no more: I knew I wanted THE TAO OF SCOOT as the new title.

But I can't just ignore the wishes of my dear readers! So, I let the poll continue to see what the peoples wanted.

Out of 21 votes, nearly half went to "Grandiloquent and Histrionic". Now that's a great title, and normally I'd have no trouble using it--but my mind was set, this blog was to become THE TAO OF SCOOT.

But how to enact my blog-owners veto without alienating my beloved readers?


From the void appeared a brilliant compromise: Now I know we just voted in a new slogan, but frankly, it's overlong, and it's not even mine--I lifted it from The Coneheads movie. If the number of votes are any indication; "Grandiloquent and Histrionic" is a much more popular phrase than the current slogan...

BANG! Compromise! THE TAO OF SCOOT  becomes our new name, and "Grandiloquent and Hisrionic" becomes a cleverer and more succinct slogan!




EVERYBODY WINS! BREAK OUT THE CHAMPAGNE!

Now, even if I could actually afford champagne, I'm not about to break a bottle over my roommate's computer--so use your imaginations, kids.



Now, grab whatever non-poisonous liquid is convenient, and join me in a toast:


TO THE TAO OF SCOOT!

May she forever remain Grandiloquent and Histrionic!



Now go look at Robbie's Diva--it's much more interesting than this drivel.




Scoot-Tzu